Feb 13, 2012
Check out these jobs images:
Appointment for Sin (1962) ? Can Sex ?Just for Fun? Be Emotionally Healthy?? ?owning your sexuality? (October 11, 2011) ?..item 2..When the Sweet Spot Becomes a Sore Spot ? friction-intensive sex (October 31, 2011) ?
Image by marsmet525
I?m not sure what the phrase ?owning your sexuality? means to you, but for me, one thing it entails is responsibility: doing my best to make sexual choices that are sound for me and a partner. (That?s also part of doing consent well.) If I am offering something sexually light and fun but anticipate that it will be emotionally or interpersonally complex?or if I?m feeling stressed, confused and worried about it?then I can know that easy-breezy is neither what I can expect nor earnestly offer.
??..***** All images are copyrighted by their respective authors ??..
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?..item 1)?. Ms. Magazine blog ? msmagazine.com/blog/ ?
You are here: Home / Health / Can Sex ?Just for Fun? Be Emotionally Healthy?
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img code photo ? Casual Sex ?
msmagazine.com/blog/files/2011/10/Casual-Sex.jpg
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Can Sex ?Just for Fun? Be Emotionally Healthy?
October 11, 2011 by Heather Corinna
msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/10/11/can-sex-just-for-fun-?
This week?s installment of Heather Corinna?s sex-and-relationships advice column tackles the issue of casual sex.
?Q: So excited for this new blog spot! Can you discuss whether it?s emotionally healthy to have sex outside of relationships? I want to own my sexuality, but all of the advice around me seems to be no-sex-outside-of-relationships-or-marriage. I know this depends on the individual, but any insight would be great! I?ve been toying with asking an ex?whom I am friends with?to have sex just for fun. I?m 98 percent sure he?ll agree, but I am worried about emotional health consequences. He has always wanted a much closer relationship than I do. I?m worried I?ll feel guilty for possibly leading him (or myself) into wanting more.
You?re right: this is a very individual and situational decision. To give some context, a recent study found that, on average, for 20-year-olds, casual sex and committed relationships led to the same level of psychological health. But individuals aren?t averages. Not everyone wants or is comfortable with sex in the same kinds of relationships or scenarios (including committed relationships). Context and interpersonal dynamics factor in, too.
There are some guidelines, however, that everyone can apply. When a sexual situation is likely to be sound, we usually feel good heading into it, as does anyone else involved. If we feel uncertain or predict negative feelings on anyone?s part, those are strong cues not to proceed.
I?m not sure what the phrase ?owning your sexuality? means to you, but for me, one thing it entails is responsibility: doing my best to make sexual choices that are sound for me and a partner. (That?s also part of doing consent well.) If I am offering something sexually light and fun but anticipate that it will be emotionally or interpersonally complex?or if I?m feeling stressed, confused and worried about it?then I can know that easy-breezy is neither what I can expect nor earnestly offer.
Even when I?m having sex-for-sex?s-sake?which I would define as sex that takes place outside of a larger intimate relationship, without any agreed-upon, intended or implied commitment?that doesn?t mean I have zero responsibility for my emotional health or that of others. My partner (or wanna-be partner) and I still owe one another respect, care and consideration, which includes considering possible outcomes, even if we don?t intend to be there with each other for them.
It sounds like you?re on board with that, and you?ve already voiced your own sense that this specific situation probably isn?t sound for you or your ex. While he?d likely agree to sex, clearly some of this wouldn?t be fun for him or you, and could be an emotional landmine. While your romantic relationship may be over, you two are in a relationship: you have a history and a friendship, and it sounds like you have strong feelings for and about one another that are not only or primarily sexual. If what you want is just a roll in the proverbial hay, this isn?t likely to be it.
It also sounds like you?ve been curious about sex outside of romantic relationships, but you haven?t felt supported in or exposed to alternatives. So you might also want to give yourself more time to take a bit more stock of what you want and to find people to talk with who aren?t all saying the same things. If that?s not currently available to you, Sex & Single Girls is a great anthology with a diverse array of women writing about various sexual experiences. I also think Jaclyn Friedman?s new book, What You Really Really Want, could be just the thing for you.
My best advice is that you hold out for an opportunity to explore casual sex if and when you feel a lot better about it. That will also likely entail a partner or scenario you don?t feel so conflicted about; that feels more likely to be explosive in the ways you want, rather than the ways you don?t.
Check out last week?s advice about lube blues.
Have a sex, sexual-health or relationships question you want answered? Email it to Heather at sexandrelationships@msmagazine.com. By sending a question to that address, you acknowledge you give permission for your question to be published. Your email address and any other personally identifying information will remain private. Not all questions will receive answers.
Photo from Flickr user skampy under Creative Commons 2.0.
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?..item 2)?. Ms. Magazine blog ? msmagazine.com/blog ?
You are here: Home / Life / When the Sweet Spot Becomes a Sore Spot
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When the Sweet Spot Becomes a Sore Spot
October 31, 2011 by Heather Corinna
msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/10/31/when-the-sweet-spot-b?
Q: I?m a 21-year-old lesbian. A problem has popped up in me and my girlfriend?s sex life. When we practice tribadism with just skin, after a while a very small raw spot will show up, bringing with it a sharp pain. Both of us have this problem. Neither of us is clean-shaven, but we do trim?would shaving help? Is there anything else we can do?
A: Ah, friction. Sometimes it feels so awesome. Other times it hurts. Part of what makes genitals so sensitive is that genital tissue is far more delicate than other kinds of skin on our bodies. With genital friction, there?s a tipping point after which a wowie can turn into an owie.
To avoid being rubbed raw, first make sure you and your partner are always very well-lubricated. Lube from a bottle tends to do the job better than our bodies? lubricant when it comes to friction-intensive sex.
Apply lube before you start and add more as needed throughout. Be generous and don?t skimp.
I checked in with Searah Deysach, the fantastic owner of Early to Bed, to see if she had any specific lube suggestions; she keeps up with brands and types like nobody?s business. She suggested a high-quality silicone lube, such as Uberlube or Sliquid Silver?they tend to be longer-lasting and slicker than water-based lubricants. But if you prefer water-based, she suggests glycerin-free brands such as Sliquid Sea or Liquid Silk (my fave), which are kinder to vulvas and vaginas than those with glycerin.
Searah and I are of one mind about hairy issues. She says, ?Hair that is growing back after shaving can be especially irritating, as stubble can be vicious on delicate tissues. ? I agree. Stubble from hair removal is more likely to irritate than the softer pubic hair we tend to have when we don?t shave. If all you do is trim, chances are hair isn?t the problem.
Consider positioning. I?d suggest experimenting with an eye for reducing how much weight is being put on each of your genitals. Try finding ways you can scissor without anyone really being ?on top? at all, like lying on your backs toe to head. Searah suggested straddling your lover?s thigh as an alternative. Similar feeling, less pain. If you do like a missionary-style V-on-V position, whoever?s on top can try to balance so less weight rests on the other person?s tender bits?e.g., by bracing their hands on a headboard. Mixing up positions often helps, too. And if and when either of you start feeling raw, don?t keep going with the activity that got you there?take a break from genital sex or at least consider that spot done for the day. If it remains raw the next day, lay off the intense pressure for as long as it takes to heal.
Now and then this still might happen, especially because, when we?re very aroused, pleasure can cause us to space out on signals of pain. But with these adjustments, you can probably make it a rarity instead of a norm.
Check out last week?s advice to a woman whose fianc? monitored her vagina?s size.
Have a sex, sexual-health or relationships question you want answered? Email it to Heather at sexandrelationships@msmagazine.com. By sending a question to that address, you acknowledge you give permission for your question to be published. Your email address and any other personally identifying information will remain private. Not all questions will receive answers.
Photo from Flickr user Gray Marchiori-Simpson under license from Creative Commons 2.0
Line drawing from Wikimedia Commons.
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The Church of the Ascension, Hall Green ? snow
Image by ell brown
While there is snow at the The Church of the Ascension in Hall Green, thought I might as well get it with the stuff then.
This is The Church of Ascension in Hall Green. On the corner of Fox Hollies Road and School Road.
A Grade II* listed building dating to around 1703 or 1704.
Dated 1704 and possibly by Sir William Wilson; altered. Red brick with stone
dressings. Of the C18 the lower part of the projecting west tower and the nave,
3 bays long demarcated by giant Roman Doric pilasters carrying an entablature and
balustrade. Arched windows in moulded stone surrounds with impost blocks and
keystones. Quoins at the angles. In 1860 chancel and transepts were added in the
same style as the C18 work. Also probably of 1860 the upper part of the tower with
its octagonal brick turret with copper cupola. Interior with coved ceiling,
simple C18 pulpit and painted early C19 Royal Arms.
The Church of the Ascension, Hall Green ? British Listed Buildings
It may have also been called Job Marston?s Chapel, but it is now a parish church. Marston left ?1000 for this ?handsome and durable chapel?. Designed by Sir William Wilson of Sutton Coldfield and built by William and Francis Smith. Dated 1703 in a plaque over the west door carved by Wilson. Transepts and chancel added in 1860 by J G Bland, the builder then was Samuel Briggs.
Above info from "Pevsner Architectural Guides: Birmingham by Andy Foster"
Drowning under a mountain of paper
Image by net_efekt
Photo I took for an Oxfam ?back-to-the-floor? fundraising event, where you get to make your manager (well, you sponsor him) to do all those jobs in the office you hate so much ie. do some serious filing, photocopying etc
Source: http://accessjobs.us/2012/02/nice-jobs-photos-29/
ibooks author marianne gingrich what is sopa gabrielle union merle haggard ladainian tomlinson mark wahlberg
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